3 Practical Tips to Love Yourself Unconditionally

Most of us may not have much difficulty in liking ourselves, but can the same be said about loving ourselves unconditionally?

Loving yourself unconditionally is not about merely liking yourself on the surface. Instead, it means to love and accept yourself fully, irrespective of whatever flaws you think you may have.

But how do you get to a space of loving yourself unconditionally? Here are three steps you can take to help you get there.

Spend quality time with yourself

We grow to love the people in our lives by spending quality time with them, in the same way cultivating self-love involves spending some quality time with ourselves.

However, many of us may dread spending some time alone by ourselves as the thought of it may make us uncomfortable.

But choosing to spend time alone is important as it will help you to understand and accept yourself better. It can also help you to listen to the nudges of your intuition. 

Journaling, meditating, going for walks, unplugging from your devices and taking time to relax and do nothing are all ways in which you can spend quality time with yourself.

Journaling is something that I particularly enjoy doing, and it has helped me discover new interests and aspects of myself that I never knew existed.

Writing my thoughts down gives a flow to my thinking and allows me to think deeper and have long dialogues with myself.

Let go of judging yourself

We may hate it when others judge us but what’s ironic is many of us tend to judge ourselves all the time (albeit subconsciously).

One of the reasons I found it hard to cultivate self-love was because I tended to judge myself a lot. When I was in college, I started getting into metaphysics and spirituality out of deep interest and curiosity.

But things like meditation and metaphysics are not the most hip things to be into, especially when you are young. I also didn’t know anyone who shared such interests, or at least none who were close.

As a result, I used to judge myself and I had difficulty in acknowledging that part of myself around others.

It took me a few years before it finally dawned on me that I needed to stop looking for permission and validation for being true to myself.

Because the truth is, it’s okay to be different. After all, we were never meant to be like everyone else.

Take charge of your mind

When we let our minds run on autopilot, we tend to focus on the negatives and gravitate towards our shortcomings, losing perspective of all that is good in our lives.

If you are focussed on your shortcomings and flaws, you may have a hard time in loving yourself. 

Instead, focus your attention on what’s good in your life and let go of comparing yourself to others. But how can you do that?

The simple act of writing gratitude lists is a great way to develop a positive perspective and let go of comparing yourself with others.

An overwhelming amount of research conducted on gratitude, indicates that being grateful can make you happier, strengthen relationships, have a positive impact on your physical and mental health, help in reducing stress, be more productive among a long list of benefits.

Keeping a gratitude journal is about consciously choosing to dwell your attention on the good that you may not otherwise notice or acknowledge.

We often appreciate and acknowledge others when they do something good but we seldom do that for ourselves.

You can take this time to focus on the qualities you appreciate about yourself and acknowledge and give yourself credit for things you did well during the day.

Cultivating unconditional self- love can be incredibly empowering and have a truly transformative impact in our life.

It doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s okay, because the road to self-love is a journey, and it begins with our willingness to make a conscious effort to take the first step.


Erin shows overscheduled, overwhelmed women how to do less so that they can achieve more. Traditional productivity books—written by men—barely touch the tangle of cultural pressures that women feel when facing down a to-do list.
How to Get Sh*t Done will teach you how to zero in on the three areas of your life where you want to excel, and then it will show you how to off-load, outsource, or just stop giving a damn about the rest.

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